Start Again
by I'm Queen for a reason
Summary: Jason's all alone thinking about his previous mistakes while lying in bed thinking about...her. His biggest mistake of ever letting her go, Piper, when he thought Reyna was the one. Now she love someone else, she couldn't even look at him after the way he left her broken and that was what Jason truly regret, something Jason wished he could go back to the start and rewind.


**Ah, finished with ma first songfic...technically the rules said you can post any lyrics on here so what if the character hear it from the radio or sing it along with it? I'm sure it's fine...**

**I hope you like this songfic, it's sort of sad. No offense given to Reyna or Jeyna fans...and I can't help but think of SnapexLily in this song...However, I'm not sure if this should remain an one-shot...**

**Don't own the song or the characters or even the background places... X(**

Chapter 1

Get back to the start

The song floating off the radio made his heart pulled in different painful places when he was lying in his bed, alone and tired.

But he couldn't sleep at all, nowadays- he can never sleep properly with nightmares and dreams filled with _her…_

His breakup with Reyna was rather dull to him, after three years of trying to be together- they just _can't. _The war, being separate for two years has drawn a large gap between them and now they were distant friends rather than long time best friends.

They were best friends but now after the war, after _Piper, _it took him five years to finally realize that and all of his mistakes.

One of the biggest mistakes he had ever made was giving Piper up for Reyna; five years ago was naïve Jason- thinking his true loyalties and love lies with Camp Jupiter when the girl with multicolored eyes was the one who hold his heart. He missed Piper, he want- no _needed _Piper and he love Piper.

But she love_d _him.

She was so upset- so broken when he told her five years ago that he really should go back to Camp Jupiter and end his relationship with Piper; go back to home.

He chuckled dryly; home was Camp Jupiter…right? Camp Jupiter rarely seems like a home to him anymore, after the war all of his friends were rather hesitant of him- considering the fact that they use to trash talk the Greeks and now every time anyone made a scathing comment about them (this mostly come from Octavian) he send a heated glare towards the offender.

But why was he unhappy?

He survived the war, he succeeded in the war, he was praetor, he was back at 'home' and he was at peace. It was living the demigod dreams, so why does he felt like shit right now?

Because of _Piper, _because of the hints and flashes of kaleidoscope eyes, dark chocolate reddish earthy hair, olive tan skin and exotic Native American features…

_"Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry_

_You don't know how lovely you are_

_I had to find you, tell you I need you_

_Tell you I set you apart,"_

He sang softly with the radio as the song play on, memories flashing before him as he stared up into the ceiling of his praetor house and hearing Reyna faint snores.

He remembered visiting Camp Half-Blood a few months ago, after his recent breakup with Reyna and he remembered seeing _her _again.

Dressed in her usual attire, the latter of the Camp Half-Blood orange top and the ratty jean shorts with old basketball shoes. Her dark hair curved her face gently as she laughed raucously to a joke Leo was telling her and her soft, beautiful eyes glinting and dancing to the sun. She was beautiful, she really had no idea how lovely she is…

He wanted to talk to her but her stony, hard expression was plastered on her face when she caught her first sight of him in five years, her eyes flashed dangerously into a steely gray- an expression he saw on Annabeth way too many times as her mouth morphed into an unforgivable scowl.

He figures it was a better idea not to talk to her at that time, though he wished he did.

_"Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions_

_Oh, let's go back to the start_

_Running in circles, coming up tails_

_Heads on a science apart,"_

_The music was basically sounding up his thoughts, thinking about what could've happen if he hadn't left Piper five years ago…_

_They would've been playing a game what Piper called 'Three Questions' and joking about, telling each other what's their deepest fears and secrets while holding each other tight…_

_His heart constricted for a moment, after his mistake with Piper, after the fallout with Reyna and after the desertion from his friends at his 'home' at Camp Jupiter- he was alone. He really was. _

_If he went back to the start when Piper and him was sixteen, young and innocent, trying to fight (and win) a war way too big for them and stop the world from combusting into chaos and they were together, they had each other- shouldering the weight of the world together. _

_"Nobody said it was easy_

_It's such a shame for us to part_

_Nobody said it was easy_

_No one ever said it would be this hard_

_Oh, take me back to the start,"_

He closed his eyes, trying to find his way back to the start. Who knew love could be so hard, so wonderful, so easy and yet so sad at the same time? _Curse you, Venus, is my love life ought to play out like some sorrowful love story and I'll die alone? _Jason thought morbidly. Being alone was quite daunting, the only thing that kept him from really loosing himself was small images of Piper's lovely smile…he always wonder how the son of Pluto- or in actual fact, Hades deals with being so alone all the time.

_Damn this song for ever existing_, Jason thought in a grumbling tone in his head, this song was making him think about Piper! He made a mental note to tell the local Camp Jupiter radio station to change their song selections…

Jason clenched his fists, he really was desperate to punch something or curled into a ball and let tears fall down as he had images of Piper's hand around another's stranger hand; kissing him, hugging him and loving-

Jason does not need this right now, if only he could go back in time to rewind his mistakes.

_"I was just guessing at numbers and figures_

_Pulling the puzzles apart_

_Questions of science, science and progress_

_Do not speak as loud as my hear,"_

_It was so alike his thoughts that he found it scary._

_He was so blind, randomly guessing Reyna was the one- the one who he loves when his real feelings linger to a pretty daughter of Aphrodite. _

A pretty daughter of Aphrodite, he snorted in defiance, she was much more than that.

And there was nothing wrong with Reyna, but the war with the Giants and truce with the Greeks has wedge a gap between them- making distant to each other; they smile but it held no private joke between them, they fought but the competiveness wasn't there (at least for Jason) and they love but there was no compassion.

Reyna was a lot like himself, she was easy to relate to once upon a time, easy to chat to each other because they were best friends but he changed a lot. He once was a prejudice Roman prince, thinking about Greeks as foul creatures (he could never ever think of Piper as a foul creature) but now he was different.

And alone, so alone- he only have his heavy heart full of regrets.

_"But tell me you love me, come back and haunt me_

_Oh and I rush to the start_

_Running in circles, chasing our tails_

_Coming back as we are,"_

Now everywhere he goes, the music was stuck in his head and he hummed the words but it was mostly blurred into the melody and he always see a lash of multi-colored eyes. It was like Venus and the Fates were taunting him, mocking for a loss of love he had so stupidly let go.

_Please love me, Piper. _Jason has pleaded silently in his head when he saw her a few months ago but apparently, she was dating a son of Athena and she was happy.

Not that he resent it (maybe a little), over the fact that Piper was happy _without _him.

_Better without him, _he thought bitterly as his curled fists bunched up the blanket sheets wrapped around his body. _Gods, this is going to haunt him forever…_

_"Nobody said it was easy_

_Oh, it's such a shame for us to part_

_Nobody said it was easy_

_No one ever said it would be so hard_

_I'm going back to the start,"_

Heart empty as the song wrapped up to its last melody as he turned over to view a picture of a beautiful girl squinting in the sunlight while the picture was being snapped, her light cocoa skin was golden (because of the sun), her dark hair was a dark auburn red, her eyes flashed into a nice shade of honey brown and her smile was dazzling and around her was a pale skin arm wrapped on her neck, it was Jason five years ago (when he was that innocent, worried sixteen year old and he was trying to win a battle with Mother Earth and Giant) and the picture was taken by Percy.

They were all lounging by the deck at the Argo II…those were the good times.

Jason's eyes began to tire out as he stared at the picture, Jason's golden blonde cropped head was still the same and the twinkling blue eyes were sparkling with happiness and now the blue eyes no longer twinkle as he slowly fall asleep when the radio has quieted down into another nameless song and his right hand was place by his heart as he finally drifted into his sleep.

_I'm going back to the start...if only I could._


End file.
